I’ll be honest with you — as a husband and dad of five, I’ve had more conversations about love and relationships than I ever expected. And most of those conversations reveal the same uncomfortable truth: we’re living in a world that has completely redefined love, sex, and marriage — and it’s not working.
Our kids are growing up drowning in counterfeit versions of intimacy.
Relationships that are disposable. Sex that’s disconnected from covenant. And “love” that barely outlasts a trending song.
So where do we go when the world’s answers keep failing?We go to the Source.
The Book Nobody Talks About in Church
Tucked right in the middle of your Bible is one of the most surprising books in all of Scripture — the Song of Solomon (also called the Song of Songs). And most people either skip it entirely, or quietly read it and pretend they didn’t.
Why? Because it’s that honest about desire, attraction, and physical intimacy.
But here’s the thing: God put it there on purpose.
This ancient love poem isn’t an accident. It’s a divine gift — a celebration of godly romance, emotional connection, sexual intimacy, and covenant commitment. It’s God saying, “This is what I designed. This is what love is supposed to look like.”
And that changes everything.
The Problem: We’ve Accepted a Counterfeit
Before you can fully appreciate what Song of Solomon offers, you have to recognize what culture has replaced it with.
We’ve been handed a version of love that is:
- Performance-based — you’re only worth loving when you’re at your best
- Transactional — love lasts only as long as it’s convenient
- Disconnected from covenant — intimacy without commitment, desire without purpose
As a dad, this keeps me up at night. Because my kids — your kids — are absorbing these messages every single day. And if we don’t give them a better story, the world will give them a worse one.
The Solution: God’s Original Design
Walking through the Song of Solomon is like pressing reset on everything the world has told us about love. Here’s what this extraordinary book teaches us:
1. Desire is sacred, not shameful. The Shulammite woman is beautifully open about her attraction (Song 1:1–2:7). She doesn’t hide it. She doesn’t apologize for it. She brings it into God’s timing. Desire, when submitted to God, is holy — not something to be ashamed of.
2. Love requires intentional pursuit. In Song of Solomon 2:8–3:5, the man doesn’t wait around — he leaps over mountains to pursue his beloved. He’s intentional, excited, and strong. Godly romance in marriage isn’t passive. It requires consistent, deliberate pursuit of your spouse, every single day.
3. Intimacy within marriage is something God celebrates. The wedding night scene (Song 3:6–5:1) is described in rich, poetic detail — not with shame, but with joy. Sex was God’s idea. It was designed to be vulnerable, bonding, and deeply good inside the covenant of marriage.
4. Conflict is part of love — and so is repair. One of the most real moments in the entire book is in Song 5:2–6:3, where the woman resists her lover’s approach and creates emotional distance. Sound familiar? But then she goes looking for him. Love chooses to repair, even when it’s hard.
5. Covenant love is the most powerful force in any marriage. The book ends with these unforgettable words: “Love is as strong as death… many waters cannot quench it” (8:6–7). That’s not the love the world sells. That’s the love God designed — fierce, faithful, and forever.
For Married Couples AND Parents
Whether you’re in a thriving marriage, a struggling one, or you’re raising kids who will one day build their own families — the Song of Solomon has something for you.
It’s a call to reclaim what God designed: love that is passionate AND pure. Physical AND spiritual. Honest AND honourable.
I want to go deeper with you on this.
Watch the full video breakdown below, and grab our free Covenant Love Marriage Checklist — 30 Daily Practices for a God-Centred Marriage to start putting this into action today.
Got a question about this study? Drop it in the comments below — I read every single one.
And if this resonated with you, share it with another parent or couple who needs a better story about love.
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